Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
