I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
