just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
