a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
