Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
