I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
