like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
