So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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