my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
