So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
