Don't make out with my wife yet
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
