pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
