i was born a porn star she said
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
