How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
