not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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