so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
