Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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