Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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