What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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