actually, I'm a sock model
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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