Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize