Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
