Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
