I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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