Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
