"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
