Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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