If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
