new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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