Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I know her cup size but not her name....
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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