1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
