Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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