She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
