Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Sponge bath it is.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
