Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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