Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
