The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
