Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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