i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
