Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
