my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
