there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
