I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
