hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
