I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize