found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
