I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize