hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You can't just leave with hair like that
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
