you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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