Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
What a dumb baby whore.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
