I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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