hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
