what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
