my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
