He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
