we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
