My brain says no but my pants say off.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
