I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
