i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
