I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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